I don't know where to begin with this post. So much has gone on since my last post and I should really make it less hard work for myself and post more regularly. That is what I intend to do from now on. I am going to make this more of a diary or journal of my health issues and situations.
A brief summary of where I am at with everything...
Post Gall Bladder Removal Surgery
Things seem to be improving. I still get pain from time to time but it isn't strong "attack" like pain anymore, although I do get it mildly now and again. It's more post-surgery healing. However I now seem to be getting pain behind my belly button, where my largest scar is from the surgery. I can't work out if it's within the stomach or muscular etc. All I know is that it is pretty crippling pain, which managed to hinder my return to work last week. I had a bad flare up that lasted for about 48 hours. The problem is with pain is that when it is so painful it can be hard to pin point exactly where the pain is coming from as it just takes over a whole area of your body, so when you speak to the doctor you are pretty much useless at explaining what is going on. I've tried strong prescription anti-acid tablets as obviously my system is still adjusting to having no gall bladder but they did nothing, and now I have had to stop taking them as I am having an endoscopy in a week to find out the cause of the pain. I am not looking forward to this at all. The other problem is I am taking Naproxen for my back pain and I was meant to have been prescribed the same anti-acids for that this whole time I have been on them (about 2-3 years) and wasn't, so it could be that they are causing issues also.
Post Knee Surgery
My knee has definitely improved although my legs are pretty weak now. I can walk down stairs pretty quickly as normal whereas before it was one step at a time, only being able to put one leg down first. Even stepping off a curb had to be thought out. My knee still clicks a little but I have to work on my muscles that hold everything in place and hopefully that will stop. If I'm driving in traffic my legs can go very shaky being on and off the pedals so that's an indication of how weak they have become. I was discharged from physio as there is nothing more they can do for me other than advise me to work on the muscles. I was advised to go back to the gym so that is what I have been doing for the last week, so far I have been three times and it does seem to be helping a little although it's quite painful and leaves me with a lovely swelling on my knee the day after.
My M.E.
Is having fun right now. Meaning I'm not. Everything that has been going on has left me drained, deconditioned and set me back a hell of a long way. Aches and pains have been a nightmare, I tire very quickly and my gym visits have left me with pretty bad post external malaise the day after, but obviously they are an important part of my knee recovery. I need to adjust and get myself back into good routines and work out a balance between everything I have going on.
Work
I'm returning to work on Monday and it's such a relief. Being out of work for so long may seem cushy but it's really not. It does nothing for your self esteem and confidence, you get sick of the same four walls but feel guilty if you go out anywhere, even to the shops or to a friend's house for an hour, because you feel worried that someone will see you and report you. And let's face it, sitting at a friend's house or going into town for essential things like getting your glasses repaired isn't the same as working a shift. Especially when the pain can be so sporadic and requires pain meds that make you drowsy or spacey. But it's always a worry. Besides all of this, being out of any kind of social atmosphere was beginning to make me nervous when I did go anywhere. Which leads me onto...
Anxiety
It's become extremely clear to me that I have a problem with this. I have had for a long time. I just didn't realise what it was. It's increased so much lately and I am awaiting a phone call from the councillor at my GP surgery to receive some sort of CBT for this. I don't want to say too much on this right now but it is beginning to take over my life and I'm not prepared to let it.
Pain Management/Physiotherapy
So my physiotherapist who is dealing with my general pain and back pain moved me on from acupuncture to hydrotherapy, which although I understand how it can be good for me, isn't working for me. Firstly the physio I had for the first two weeks was useless, then this week I had somebody else who was much better. But the pool was disgusting. Not good for a hospital and in the three weeks I went I have managed to get a toenail infection. Fantastic. Besides all of this I found it a little too easy. However my back has flared up a lot since stopping the acupuncture so now I'm being referred back for this and the aim is to incorporate it with exercise to strengthen my core muscles (which was the initial aim but due to my surgeries I couldn't do the gym work). Overall this physio has been the most worthwhile thing I have had in terms of being able to understand the back pain I have suffered since I was a child after injuring my coccyx and I feel it will work for me eventually. They are also going to look at a back rehabilitation class whatever that is. I also went to pain management today and they are referring me to a Buddhist inspired program called Breathing Space, which can help with dealing with pain, anxiety, depression etc. I don't know the full extent but I know the waiting list is quite long.
So I said this would be brief. But it isn't. From now on I will do more frequent updates so the post doesn't have to be so epically long. I'm going to leave it here for tonight, go and watch a few episodes of 24 and get some sleep as I'd like to attempt the gym again tomorrow so hopefully my knee will hold out better when I start back at work next week.
Hope this didn't bore you too much but this is a great way for me to get out some of my thoughts and get things clearer in my head, so if you didn't find it interesting at least I found it useful :P
xx
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